Staying Relevant When You Get Old is Your Choice. And There is Only One Way to Do It.

I don't remember many birthdays. I'm not sentimental, I don't like big celebrations or being the center of attention. So birthdays come and go.

 

But I remember my 40th birthday. This one felt different. When I turned 40, I became reflective for a season. I was suddenly aware that I might have fewer years ahead of me than behind me. I still felt young, but realized I was no longer a young adult. Indeed, "old" was just around the next corner. I would be there before I knew it. 

 

I began to think about the people I had known for a long time who were now old. In their 30's or 40's they were alive and vibrant and making a difference in the world. They had ambition, vision and relevance, and a sense of culture and movement. They were making a difference in their corner of the world. 

 

But then what happened? So many of them -- in fact most of them -- lost their spark. They didn't necessarily retire, but from my view they definitely got tired. They stopped leaning in and learning...they became irrelevant.

 

But there were some outliers. There are some leaders who are now old who are still relevant. They are still leading strong and looked up to by those who are much younger. They have become living, breathing legends who are respected both by their peers AND by people decades younger.

 

What is the difference? Here is my hypothesis:

 

The relevant leader is no longer building a kingdom. They are no longer building off their own strengths. They have shifted their focus from what they can do—and they are now pouring into helping younger leaders succeed. By spending time with and pouring into those who are younger, they are staying sharp and in the game. By focusing on helping younger leaders succeed and have their moment, that is how they stay relevant. They are using their social capital, influence, wisdom, trust and credibility—and through time and mentoring and just “being” with younger leaders – they are transferring this to the next generation.

 

This happens in parenting when you stop leading and controlling your kids and you start letting them lead. This happens when you choose to work on a team led by the next generation and you tap into their genius and breathe life into their dreams. This happens when you take time to listen to the young adults around you instead of crushing their dreams and quieting their questions.

 

The irrelevant “old” leader is grasping to hang on. He or she is still building a kingdom. They still power up and lead, but fewer are following. They use old leadership styles and ways of thinking (because that’s what they know) rather than tuning in to young leaders and learning what works in today’s world. They try to hang on to their relevance, but like the emperor with no clothes, they are the last to know it’s no longer effective. 

 

I want to be relevant well into old age. And I want to do that through pouring into those who have most of their life in front of them. It's why I volunteer and support organizations like Generation Distinct whose mission is to help young people find the wrong they were born to make right, and then equips them to do that. It's why most of our close friends are significantly younger than us. It's why I love hanging out with my adult kids and their friends and asking questions so I can see the world through their eyes.

There are a lot of reasons why surrounding yourself with young leaders will make you better.

• They ask questions we don’t ask. They weren’t around when we tried it and failed, so we decided it was forever a bad idea. But they have new energy, new perspective, new ideas, and new insight.
• They see things we don’t see. They aren't as jaded as we are which gives them eyes to see with wonder and curiosity.
• They know the questions today's culture is asking. They speak digital as a first language, and know the desires, dreams, passions and disappointments of the current generation. 
• They will be in your seat sooner than you think! What an amazing thing to play a part in a young person's life and watch them launch an organization or take over a role from a seasoned veteran.

I'm no longer 40. Now I'm one of the "old" guys. At 57, I still feel young, but my 40-year old self would say I'm staring "old" in the face. My ambition is to pour into and raise up a new generation of leaders. I'm building a company to bring a strategic voice to the church, but I'm also building a company that I will hand over to younger leaders in a few short years.

Are you in my season of life? Find a way to surround yourself with young leaders, and then every day breathe life into their dreams and hopes and goals.

Do you want to pour into young leaders? Do these 7 things:

1. Give them a safe place to refine their voice, their leadership, their contribution – let them speak into significant issues.

2. Give them room to try and fail – and celebrate the trying!

3. Call it out - tell them what you see. Your voice to say “I believe in you” or “i see in you…” will carry more weight than you know.

4. Lend them your credibility to opens doors they can’t open. You can get them in rooms they can’t get in. You can get them with other leaders they can’t get in front of.

5. Give them a voice. Give them space at the table. What table? Every table possible.

6. Invest in their development – personally and corporately. A couple years ago a young leader wanted to attend a conference where she had the opportunity to help teach a session. As a leader at the organization, I knew we didn't have the money to send her. So I had to decline the financial request. However, I went home and my wife and I mailed her a personal check so she could still attend.

7. Listen to them, and pay attention to what has their attention. Podcasts, TikTok channels, books, movies, apps, etc. Don't just see "what" has their attention, but find out "why" it has their attention. Be curious!

Listen. It is your choice. You can get old and tired and irrelevant, and maybe that's what you want. We can just leave you alone and let you golf or shop or do whatever it is you've always dreamed about doing when you stopped working. If that's what you want, that's fine. 

But if you want to stay relevant, if you want to continue to make a difference, if you want to have an impact well into your 60's and 70's and 80's -- there is only one way to do this. Get around young leaders and pour yourself into them. Learn from them, acknowledge them, cheer them on, be available to them, ask them great questions, believe in them, support them, honor them, make room for them, open doors for them. That is how you leave a legacy. That's how you can keep having impact long after you are gone.